Becky Crenshaw

It was a hot summer morning in July. A sweet friend was on vacation and I asked if she would mind my going to her back yard for a morning of silence and solitude.

I have found that intentional time away with God is much better done NOT at my own house. As much as I love my back porch, inevitably I find a task that needs to be done, a drawer to organize, some crumbs to sweep. Distractions that interfere with a quiet soul sitting with God.

So I settled in a lounge chair beside the blue, glistening water of her pool. Large Oaks hovered my head and birds danced on feeders nearby. I opened my Bible and journal – two things allowed on these intentional days with God. No other books to speak into this space. No social media. No podcasts. No texts.

Just a blank page, my favorite pen and the Living Word.

It takes me a bit to settle. My mind busy with boys and my soul stirred with life.

But as He always is faithful, I begin to read and He begins to speak. This day in particular, I was drawn to the story of Jesus healing Bartimaeus – a blind beggar (Mark 10:46-52). There Bartimaeus sat, crying out from the side of the road, asking for mercy and shouting to the Son of David so that he might stop.

And guess what?

Jesus stopped.

Bartimaeus then stood before Jesus and heard the voice who knew him before he was born.

“What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked.

Oh this moment.

Scholars, teachers and writers alike love to paint the picture for us believers – Jesus stopping for you and me, calling us over and asking, “What do you want me to do for you?”

But this summer morning, in silence and solitude, I read this very differently.

I wrote, “Lord, in the quiet today, I come asking instead…. ‘What do YOU want me to do for YOU?‘”

And I meant it. All the cards of my life on the table. My heart genuinely ready to hit the ground running. With an eager hand raised, my heart cheered, Ambassador Becky reporting for duty, Lord! Send me!

I was ready to do anything He said.

“What do YOU want me to do for YOU?” I wrote it again.

Christ offered Himself completely for us… and now daily, we offer ourselves back to Him. What an opportunity. What a gift. A reciprocal relationship of love!

I sat staring at the blank space of my journal – not sure what to do next.

N O T H I N G came.

No magic ink surfacing an answer. No parting sky or burning bush.

Just more silence.

And there it was in the silence I heard Him…

My answer.

“Nothing.”

(This blog is the beginning of a series I wrote while on a six week sabbatical. I am excited to share. Check back periodically as I share more of an unfolding that has changed my life.)