August Reflections – abandonment

At noon the sky became extremely dark. The darkness lasted three hours. At three o’clock Jesus groaned out of the depths, crying loudly, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?” Which means, “My God, My God, why have you abandoned me?” Mark 15:33-34 The Message

I spoke at a women’s group last night. It had been a while since I shared my ENTIRE testimony.

I love sharing the faithfulness of God and remembering His redemption in my life. But man, oh man – vulnerability hangover is real.

Very real.

However, recalling my story reminds me of a thread that runs throughout my past. The pain of abandonment. It was an early wound from which much of my reckless decisions were birthed.

For decades.

As I grew closer to the Lord, I realized all those POOR choices was me trying to satisfy a need that ONLY God could meet.

Then today, I read The Message version of Mark and THIS WORD – my WOUND – shows up.


Now, old school KJV has this verse burned in my memory…. Why have you FORSAKEN me? Anybody else?

But it hits differently in the Message.

Jesus LAST EMOTION on this earth as a human being…. ABANDONMENT.


Maybe because abandonment is the worst? That’s why it was saved for the last? I mean…. this had NEVER happened, right? The son and the Father had NEVER been separated. They were one.

Until this moment.

And the pain was so severe that after this plea, Jesus breathed his last.

Friends. Listen.

We know that Jesus bore our sin. We may even understand that He bore our shame on the cross, too.



The wound that fueled SO MUCH of my own PAIN was taken on by my LORD and SAVIOR so my story could be RE-WRITTEN!

Why did God forsake or abandon Jesus in this moment?

So you and I would never be abandoned again.

This leads me to tears and to worship.

I pray it does you, too.

Lord, let us see today that NO MATTER how isolated, forgotten, alone or abandon we feel in this life … OUR GREATEST reality is we are ADOPTED. SONS. DAUGHTERS. DEFENDED. REDEEMED. Just wow. Thank you Jesus for bearing the pain of the worst abandonment in history…. for us. I love you so much. Amen.

I means so much to hear from you!

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