Becky Crenshaw

{Guest post by Sue Molitor@ Living Free In Him}

In May 2012, my husband and I were on a getaway in Key West.  It was just the two of us without the kids, a rarity!   We were in one of God’s most beautiful creations together, yet we seemed more distant than ever in our 13 years of marriage.

Our surroundings were beyond compare, however, there was an unspoken darkness that dimmed the beauty.

My Bible and journal sat on my lap as I gazed out at the vast endless blue masterpiece and heard the cries of sea gulls overhead.  The picture mirrored the vast emptiness inside of me and the cries of my heart.

As I was crying out to God for our marriage and how I didn’t feel loved.  God spoke…

“Sue, Chris loves you. Enjoy him.  Enjoy being with him.  Enjoy each other in this beautiful place.”

I chose not to listen to God.  Bad choice.  I choose to focus on my husband’s faults and my insecurities.  After 3 days of listening to the wrong voice, we had the worst argument of our marriage in the middle of paradise.

During the argument, he left the room and I cried.  We went to sleep that night and I actually thought, “Is my marriage over?”  The ironic part is that we were scheduled to teach a marriage class a month later at our church.  The enemy wanted our marriage.

I woke up early and went back on the balcony and breathed in the fresh morning sea air.  I sat again with my Bible and journal as I had 4 days earlier.  This time, all I could muster was a whisper…

“Father, please fix this, whatever it is.”

God isn’t one to waste time.  He began right away.

You can be in the most beautiful place in the world, but if your vision is blurred, you will miss the real beauty surrounding you.  

God created my marriage to be a picture of His glory—more breathtaking than the awe of the ocean.  God wanted to show me how my vision had been skewed.

He began a work in both of us that completely transformed our marriage and our relationship with Him.  Today, our marriage is the best it has ever been and it keeps getting better.

I can’t share everything God revealed to change our marriage, but I wanted to share 7 words:

“Your spouse is a good-willed person.”

These 7 words are from the book Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerich.

Now, I realize there are exceptions such as abusive situations.  I am not referring to those cases.  I am referring to the irritations and misunderstandings that happen daily and cause friction in marriages.

I personalized everything my husband did that seemed thoughtless.  I thought he did not care about my needs.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

These seven words helped me understand that when he says something innocently that I could take personally or gets ketchup for himself and forgets some for me, it is not that he doesn’t care about me or my ketchup needs.  He too is human.  He is a good-willed person and loves me.  It is not personal.

Your spouse is a good-willed person too and loves you.  He or she isn’t out to irritate you or hurt you intentionally.

I know some of you may be in rough places in your marriage.  I know because I was there.  Today, I want to encourage you to whisper to the God who heals.  Ask Him to fix whatever is broken.   Ask Him to make your marriage into the beautiful picture He designed it to be and then wait expectantly.  He will move mountains for you.

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1Peter 4:8

“Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.” Proverbs 10:12

Lord, this morning I give you all of our broken pieces.  Will you work in our marriage today and mold us more into your likeness of your Son, Jesus?  I trust you today, Father.  Transform my marriage and transform my relationship with You.   In Jesus Name, Amen. 

Hop over and visit Sue, where she leads us all to “live free in Him!”

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