Becky Crenshaw

Do not let the sun go down on your anger… Ephesians 4:26b

I didn’t go to bed mad.  Things were just unresolved.

September and October were record-breakers for our busiest months on file.  Week after week we jam-packed each day full of activity.  Our iCalendars were to the max, posing us as “event hoarders”.

And our hoarding had lead to an epic loss of communication.  And this Saturday night had thrown us into a rather escalated  conversation.

The kind where the husband leaves to “clear his head” and the wife “goes to bed early.”

Have you ever had that kind of conversation?

And I lay there remembering Ephesians 4:26 and praying {as if to convince the Lord} that I am “really not angry, just so tired and emotionally tapped, that I am out of words.  If I stay up and keep talking about it, I will make matters worse.”

The next morning, I was clearing the dishwasher when Brent came down.  His slippers breaking the silence.

He fiddled with the coffee maker a minute before coming behind me for a “last night stunk, can we have a do-over” hug.

I turned from putting knives away, not to stab him, but to hug him back.

He squeezed and said, “We aren’t mad at each other, we just miss each other.”

His words poignant and true.

God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:8

The enormity of our schedules have left little-to-zero room for alone time and laughter.  We have been forced to talk about drop-offs, field trips, office meetings, football practice, bills due and carpool, but had run out of energy for snuggles, hand-holding, inside jokes and “all things friendship” in marriage.

And over time, joy has gone lost.

Today, I am done with you iCalendar {insert tongue sticking out}.  I miss my husband.

When was the last time you made time for friendship in marriage?  I’m not talking candle-lit dinners and Andrea Bocelli.  Just a handheld stroll in the neighborhood or grabbing a Salted Caramel Mocha at Starbucks?

Maybe you aren’t upset with your spouse, but you have the “something is lost” pit in your stomach.

Could it be that you “aren’t mad at each other, you just miss each other?”

The enemy wants a foothold anywhere he can get it.  And healthy marriages get bellyaches from busyness.  Overcome the iCal with a pursuit of your spouse today. 

Lord, you can testify how I long for time with (your spouses name) with the affection of Christ Jesus.  Today, let us move towards one another, even in small ways, to keep our friendship afloat.  Give us time for laughter and snuggles and kisses on the cheeks.  Busyness robs us of these things and before we know it we are driving to “clear our heads” and “going to bed early.”  Thank you for my best friend.  Give us time for friendship today. In Jesus Name, amen.