“So, how’s your marriage?” {grace words wednesday}

My sister-in-law asks the best questions.

Questions like, “How’s your heart?  What are your boys into right now?  What is the Lord teaching you?  What are you reading?”

Time doesn’t lapse long before Erin dives straight past the surface into heart-level territory.  But one question she frequents jolts me every time…

“So, how’s your marriage?”

My marriage?  Like Brent and me?  “Well, it’s fine.”

Fine (adj) good, acceptable, or satisfactory

I know, don’t be so underwhelmed by my response.  Fine.  Yeah, my marriage is acceptable.

Brent and I are satisfactory.  Marriage is fine.

But, let’s be real.  If I am answering Erin’s soul-deep question from a gut honest level, most days I would say, “Marriage.  Well, it is on auto pilot.  I haven’t really thought about my marriage (at all)  today.  The kids need me.  Work demands me.  Ministry pulls at me.  But marriage, it is left to fend for itself.”

“Erin, today my marriage is below average and needs improvement.

Sweet friend, do you relate?

But compare my underwhelming words to the apostle Paul’s overwhelming description of marriage in Ephesians.

As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.  Ephesians 5:31-32

The two are united into one.  Y’all, there is little in this phrase that has described the Crenshaw house recently.  Between Mamaw in the hospital, home school, Brent’s job, planning a retreat for church, household responsibilities, raking leaves, switching wardrobes, pumpkin patches, errands, flag football and raising three offspring, there is very little “oneness” about our marriage.

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So if I were Erin, and you are you, and we are sitting here together sharing a cup of joe, and I asked you “So, how’s your marriage?” …  How would you answer today?

Gut. Honest.

Now, I am  no fool and I know that some of you could cry at that question.  Pain and marriage are interchangeable words.  But stick with me here.  Would you consider going on a journey with me for month of November?  A month to lay your marriage down at the foot of a grace-filled cross and pray for your spouse?

For the next four weeks, I (and Brent) will be posting here and on Facebook a month of prayers and posts concerning marriages.  Let’s call it –

More Than Fine – A Month of Marriage”

Because I believe that the enemy attacks marriages first.  If he can mess up you and your husband, then the rest is easier to crumble.  It is no wonder that Paul places instruction on marriage smack-dab between how to live a spirit-filled life (Eph 5:18-19) and wearing the armor of God (Eph 6:10-18).  

So join me here Friday for day one of “More Than Fine.”  Invite your spouse to join you.  Tell your friends. Call your mom.  Text your BFF.

Let’s lock arms and march boldly through the “trap of fine” and enter into God’s mystery of marriage, where the two are united as one.

Sweet Jesus, I come to you this morning, knowing good and well that there are a lot of people reading this that “fine” would be an improvement for their marriage.  There are a lot of readers that can’t even bring themselves to pray for their spouse.  There are a lot of readers that love there husband/wife, but aren’t intentional about praying for marriage (this would be me).  Lord, will you bless the next four weeks where we pull our hearts to the side of the road and focus on our marriage?  This was your idea…marriage.  You designed it.  You bless it.  And you are the One who can restore* it.  So Father, I just ask you to give us grace to pray when its hard and grace to remember when we are too busy.  Thank you for making us more into the image of Christ through the unity of marriage.  In Jesus Name… Amen.

gracewords4

 {grace words wednesday}

  United*  One*  Grace*  Restore*

Join Jody McNatt at even the sparrow for her {grace words wednesday}

Leave a comment and let me know if you will pray alongside me for “More Than Fine” and also if there is any way I can be praying for you specifically.

If you haven’t yet, sign up to receive A Cup of Joe via email (top right)  and find me on Facebook.

Praying for you today…

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22 thoughts on ““So, how’s your marriage?” {grace words wednesday}

  1. Man you hit the nail on the head for us. Donny and I were having this conversation last night. I almost feel at times that we are complacent. Not arguing, divorce not an option, so it’s all good!! And I don’t want good!! I want GREAT!! (Tony the Tiger) I’m really excited about November!! Love you and thanks for doing this!

  2. My marriage has been under attack, particularly since I began working on a book whose topic is marriage restoration. Marriage is a huge focus of my ministry and outreach. I would love to pray with you and other readers for our marriages! (Actually with my current storm, I would loathe to pray for “my” marriage.) But I love my husband and our marriage is such a gift (even in its messed up state). I realize the enemy is out to destroy us in whatever way he can find. I am so thankful Jesus came to give life and abundance to our marriages. My husband and I started a 30 day focus on “becoming one” in our marriage 4 days ago, so timing is perfect for us! I am determined and “love it or loathe it”, I am committed to pray and fight for a “more than fine” marriage.

I means so much to hear from you!

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