Where Am I Plugged In?

I am in knots today.

From the moment my feet hit the floor, all the way down to the coffee pot, and even now as I sit at my little spot at the end of the kitchen table, I am a wad of nerves and knots. And why? Well, I can’t quite put my finger on it.

Do you ever feel this way? A little anxious, unsettled and unsure? But you can’t give a good reason?

Maybe it is a mix of hormones or life stress. Maybe I need more yoga. Extra sleep. Or less caffeine.

{No. Surely not the caffeine.}

But it is something. As I search my heart this morning, and bring my naked soul before a Living God, I ask “What’s up with these knots? What do they consist of, Lord? From where do they stem, Father?”

And I know this is going to seem far-fetched, but roll with me, OK? I keep going back to the idea of a baby and its umbilical cord. The purpose of an umbilical cord is to provide oxygen and nourishment to a baby while in the womb. As long as the umbilical cord is working properly, then a baby should be able to get enough nourishment to continue growing until the end of pregnancy.

Mama supplies all of baby’s needs.

So today, I ask myself, ‘Where am I plugging in my cord?’ Into Jesus? Is He my source of nourishment, life and growth? Is my every breath sustained by Him?

My self-analysis is telling me that either I am not plugged into my source of life or have kinks in my cord.

Even as I type, I am starting to recognize places I am getting stuck… Striving hard to plug my identity in other things. Motherhood. Marriage. Ministry. Friendships.

Which are all good things… But I can’t hang my hat on them. I will fail terribly at them all. And they will fail me, too.

But there is a place my identity can hang its hat. Jesus.

1 Peter 3 is speaking to me this morning. Read this with me…

Let your beauty or identity… “be the inward adorning of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which is not anxious or wrought up, but is precious in the sight of God. 1 Peter 3:4 AMP

“Anxious or wrought up.” Do those words resonate or what?!

They are describing my innards this morning.

So what must I do? I must CHOSE to unplug from all of the other places I am searching for worth, and plug back into my Jesus…my identity and the source of gentleness and peace.

Side note: He thinks we are precious, you know.

Precious (polytelēs) “very costly. Excellent and of surpassing value.”

So I am choosing to believe that.

And one knot at a time, He will give me peace today as we work out the kinks in my cord, plugging back into the place of my truest identity. Jesus Christ.

So go on with your precious self today…not anxious or wrought up. But be full of confidence, found in him, not having a righteousness of your own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ–the righteousness that comes from God. Phil. 3:9