There is one room of my house that if you were to come over, I would never invite you to see.
I would give you the nickel tour of every other room. I would proudly display how the Lord has blessed our home by gifting me with Tisha. My dream interior designer/good friend. I would tell you of every change we have made and every vision she has for my home.
But I would never open one door.
My storage room.
I know. We all have a messy storage room. It is the neglected space in our house that, maybe one or twice a year, gets a good cleaning out. But mine. Whoa. So embarrassing.
In Psalm 139, David prays and asks God into the storage closet of his heart. The messy, disorganized place where embarrassment lives. Where, if God were to actively uncover enough, He might find a varmint. Or something may be found dead.
But what if, just what if, there is treasure hidden deep in the storage room? What if we allowed someone into our messy, what if we allowed someone to pull every over-stuffed box of keepsakes only to find heirlooms buried deep. Is it possible that the very things that should be displayed in my home, have been covered for years? Buried in a room of shame?
Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! Psalm 139: 23-24
A few years ago I spoke on this verse. A group of women and I took it apart piece by piece. We talked of David and his heart after God’s very own. I wrapped up my talk with a pretty bow and prayed us out.
But one honest woman came to me and said, “If I am being truthful, I am too afraid to pray this. Because I know that He will answer. And it will be hard.”
She couldn’t be more right. Yes. He sure will answer. David’s prayer invites God into the mess of his soul. He asks God to pull out the ugly of his heart and painfully gut out garbage that burdens the Father.
This is raw vulnerability.
The Lord took me away this weekend. A handful of women and I sat at the foot of the mountain and at the feet of Jesus for a little over twenty-four hours.
And while I was there, at His feet, He gave me a dare. A Holy dare to pray this.
Search me, O God, and know my heart….see if there be any grievous way in me. Lead me in the way everlasting!
Bucking all Southern hospitiality, God invited himself right in. Asking to see the storage room of my soul.
And I remember that woman’s honest confession and felt scared, too.
Because I know that my ugly will come out. But, you know what? He can’t turn ugly into beauty until He gets a hold of it.
And He can not heal if He doesn’t know my pain.
Everyday, through September 30th. This is my daily prayer.
And somehow, I drag you into everything, don’t I?
Would you dare to pray this with me? Everyday? Through September 30th?
(And if you are up for more challenge, He has given me more. But for today, we will start here. But stay tuned.)
There will be days I write about Psalm 139 right here. But most days I won’t. Check on Facebook page and Twitter – I will post our prayer there.
I encourage you to write David’s prayer down. Keep it handy. Place it on your fridge or in your car.
I am excited. And nervous. And thankful.
Here we grow… I mean go…
Lord, I trust you. I know you are wild and untamable, but I also know that you are safe. You do not set out to hurt me. But to heal me. So with that being said. I pray that you would, “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” (Psalm 139:23-24). I look forward to what You have in store for my life over this next month. In Jesus Name. Amen.
Praying your cup overflows today.
Thank you Becky for this challenge! Psalm 139 has been appearing in my walk for over a year now. Your image of the storage room reminded me of the Shaun Groves song “Welcome Home.” (http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lpkBOqoRz-g)
Thanks, Julie! I am going to watch this now…
Becky, before I even finished reading your post I stopped, wrote this on my refrigerator board. Then I had to laugh when I kept reading and you mentioned posting it. This verse spoke to me and I hope my family will want to pray it with me. Thanks for sharing with us, friend!
Lynn, this is awesome. I am so glad the whole family is in on it, too. xoxo
Hey Becky, Yesterday I had an unglued moment with my kids. Then, I went to a marriage class and they talked about how our response is our responsibility. They said that the irritant doesn’t create the response, it just reveals what is inside of us. Ouch! I started praying this prayer before I even read this this morning. I want the ugly out of me. Thanks friend! Great post!
“Our response is our responsibility.” That is a great one-liner. Love it. Great parenting one-liner, too.
I accept your dare, Becky, even though I too am nervous and a lot fearful of how much it might hurt. I just came across this passage in Psalm 139, too. Kinda creepy how many of us are saying that. 😉 That Shaun Groves song fits perfectly; it could be our theme song.
Yes, Jenny! I agree. Let’s declare it our theme song! Love it.
This would be the second time in as many weeks that God has reminded me that I have been keeping things out of His hands. I am more than scared. I am terrified, but I will pray this prayer with you, Becky. The darkest corners of my heart need God’s presence in such a real way.
Oh Treva. So well put. I am thankful you are joining us.
Just have to share that I have been praying this prayer all week and have it posted to read daily. I really felt like this verse was speaking to me when I read your post. Then, at church today our minister challenged us to read and write down a certain bible passage for the week, almost fell over when I saw Psalm 139 come up on the screen! He really is speaking to me!