An excellent wife who can find? – Proverbs 31:10
Last night turned ugly.
The evening started very well. Cool weather. A pot of soup on the stove. Brent walked in the front door to a happy wife in the kitchen and happy kids playing in the back yard.
We all sat at dinner and shared our Friday highs. Afterwards the boys threw football with daddy while I cleaned the kitchen. Bliss.
The kids came in for baths as I folded laundry. (June Cleaver never had it so good.)
Brent said, “Hey, I think I’ll go get us a movie. I would enjoy some alone time. A little solitude to refuel.”
Great idea. A movie. A refreshed husband. A calm, post-bedtime house. Love this idea.
So he left. I headed downstairs to make popcorn for the boys.
Well, I don’t know what happens from the top of the stairs to the bottom, but a blissful night with children can turn to chaos in 0.2 seconds. Amen? In the blink of an eye, the boy’s blissful behavior turned to fighting and name calling. The hush of my happy home became crying and crazy. And whose fault was all of this?
How could he leave me at bedtime? Arguably the most difficult part of the day! I’m tired, they’re tired. And I’m now left to break up fights, read bedtime stories, brush teeth and do this all alone. Poo.
I call him. (Bad idea.) “Where are you? Are you almost done? I am struggling here. Could you come on back.”
And he comes home. Long story longer, I should have never called. He needed that time. I needed to leave him be. I’m a big girl. I can handle fussy kids at bedtime. I’ve done it 1,000 times. I just shouldn’t have called. (So much for June Cleaver.)
Was he mad? No. Was he frustrated? Very much so. I don’t blame him.
An excellent wife who can find?
Excellent: (chayil) Virtuous, strength, might, efficiency, ability, force, power, leader of the army, upright, integrity, as the strength of a tree.
The word excellent means woman of strength. “It is the same word used to describe the character of Israel’s Judges indicating that they were able and well qualified for their profession. So it follows that a wise woman is able and qualified for her work, has command of her own spirit and is able to manage others. She is a woman of resolution who, having chosen godly principles, is firm and faithful to them.” – Dillow, The Creative Counterpart
Last night, I did not have command of my own spirit. I turned into a big baby and placed undo blame on my husband. I was not acting as one well qualified for my job.
Too often I get that “Well, I don’t get a break” attitude towards Brent. And that’s not fair. Nor is that really true. The Lord gives me several opportunities to refresh throughout the day. I don’t always take them, but He always offers me rest. Rest only found in Him.
Dillow writes, “A strong bond of faithfulness and trust must have existed between the woman in Proverbs 31 and her husband. This trust can be applied to her husband’s confidence in her ability to manage the household affairs: he knew that she was competent and that when he returned from his work each evening, he would find the home and family not in chaos but in order. Which of these situations does your husband find when he walks in the door.“
Brent, I am so sorry. I confess that I was not being compassionate towards your needs last night. I was being selfish. Forgive Buster?
An excellent woman who can find? Well, not in my house last night.
But today, I revel in the mercies of a new day. In faith, I am woman of strength in the power of the Holy Spirit. So are you.
Oh, how I need the Lord. My goodness.
In my own strength, I wuss out with fussy boys at bedtime. But in HIS POWER, I can lead an army.
we've all been there becky! there are many times I've had the receiver in my hand only to remember to put it back down before the call goes through. Well, that only came after one to many calls of frustration and then an irritated husband! Thankfully God never stops teaching us to be better wives and moms right?
Morning by morning new mercies I see…amen??? I'm sorry your night started out so beautifully and ended not so well =( Been there…I think it's easy for us to "blame" them like you said for the "whatever mess it is" when they are not there, because they are not there, so it's naturally easier to assume if they were, it would be easier. (Wow that was a long winded sentence!). You are such a blessing to me, I love reading what you have to write every day, the truthful and openness of your heart. I don't even know you, yet I relate on far too many occasions. Thanks for sharing. Hoping your day is off to a better start today, especially with the opportunity to apply a lesson learned.
Been there, done that. 1,000 times. I find bedtimes so hard, after you have DONE IT all day, moms are worn out physically and mentally, and our little treasures couldn't get there eyes closed fast enough. Our husbands carry a lot and need down time themselves. Well put. Great reminder. Thank you God and hubbys for forgiving us.