Flying Off The Handle

I had every intention of writing a different post today. I even started typing it.

But the Lord whispered in my soul…You’re ignoring me.

So here the deal. What is it with me and anger lately?

A few nights ago, I went to visit a friend. We sat on her front porch watching our kids climb a Magnolia tree and play a game of kickball.

Something struck me about my friend’s interaction with her children. She talked to her kids. Yes, when she needed to correct them, she talked to them. Notice the “to them.”

I, on the other hand, talk at my children. My friend dialogued with her kids when giving instruction. I, however, monologue with my children. One-sided. “This is what you do. This is how you do it. Get it? Got it? Good.

I don’t know if it is me being t.i.r.e.d. or maybe p.m.s. I could be just flat out crabby. Nevertheless, I’ve recently been short-tempered and flying off the handle at my boys.

Here’s the deal with anger…

1. My boys will learn these same behaviors from me – yikes. (Proverbs 22:24)

2. I demonstrate foolishness. (Proverbs 14:29)

3. I stir up strife. (Proverbs 29:22)

4. I’m brought to shame. (Proverbs 25:8)

5. You shouldn’t really be my friend. (Proverbs 22:24)

6. Anger just leads to more quarrels. (Proverbs 17:14)

I’m not writing this to be down on myself. I writing this to be honest with myself. And honest with you and with the Lord. I am in agreement that I can not display outbursts of anger at my children. They are little people. Not sounding boards. They deserve to be talked to…not talked at…and fussed at….and, even worse, yelled at.

I am in agreement with God and His Word that anger is for the birds.

Know this my beloved brothers (and sisters); let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. James 1:20

I might need a tattoo.

“Be quick to hear.” My eight-year-old has said 1,000 times, “Mom, you didn’t let me finish what I was saying.”

He is right. I am too busy talking at him. Ugh.

Lord Jesus, your Holy Spirit lives within me. You are my Helper (John 14:26). Help me operate in self-control. I can do anything with You. Nothing is too difficult.

Here are the benefits of controlling my anger:

1. I have great understanding (Proverbs 14:29)

2. I can quiet contention – nice. (Proverbs 15:18)

3. Ceasing from anger is honored (Proverbs 20:3)

4. I will inherit the earth – no kidding. There is blessing in obedience. Think about Joseph. His brothers threw him under the bus, selling him into slavery, but his lack of anger led him to prosperity for himself and an entire nation. (Psalm 37:9, Gen 45, 50:15-21).

Thanks for listening as I process.

Do you relate to this in anyway?

More verses I need on the tablet of my heart… Have a blessed day.

Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit that he who takes a city. Proverbs 16:32

Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11

Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Proverbs 17:27

Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3

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6 thoughts on “Flying Off The Handle

  1. Oh thank you Becky! For always reminding me that I am NEVER alone. 🙂 It is so easy to talk AT your child, I know, I do it all the time. SIGH. If I thought it would help, I'd probably have scripture tattooed all over me. LOL I'd be the amazing tattooed scripture mom! Okay, probably not "amazing" but. LOL Thanks for the "reminders" that I so often need as a mom, a wife, a child of Christ. May my words be soft or not at all… {HUGS} my beautiful friend!

  2. Becky, you share your heart so beautifully and willingly. I adore you for your transparency. I am honored to be your friend. We have all been there and you are an AMAZING Mom!!! Pray in the Spirit girl.

  3. Oh thank you for sharing your struggles so intimately!! This is a constant issue for me as well, a constant sin. I was raised with a mother who always YELLED! When my son was born I battled this sin as he started growing. Then I felt like I had victoriously, with the Lord's help, put it to death. By the time my daughter was born, I felt I was cured! Then my husband joined the Army, and the past 2 years have been such a downward slope. He has been gone with training, and now getting ready to come home after a year's deployment. And being with them day in and day out has had it's challenges, that most often show themselves with my patience running completely out and the yelling begins. The talking at instead of to, like you said. Oh, it's so frustrating! But yes, we have a God who is so abundantly able!! And I know He will, and the more I let go and just trust Him, and give it to Him, piece by piece, He is!! Thank you so much for sharing, and for calling it what it is…sin! What an encouragement. I hope your battle is quickly won.

  4. You're definitely not alone in this! I've been there!! My pastor just spoke on James 1:19-25 today. One thing I thought was interesting was he emphasized the "quick to hear" part of verse 20, adding "the Word". If we are quick to listen to His Word, then we will be slower to speak & slower to anger. That's basically what you said, in a condensed version. I just thought it was interesting that he would talk about anger & then I read this post!P.S. Thank you for voting! 🙂

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