So What If It Is Today?

I lay in bed last night, Brent slowly making his way from the couch downstairs. I could hear him piddling, checking in on the boys, adjusting the air conditioner setting.

I knew I had an extra couple of minutes with the Lord. Just us.

“So Lord, what if it is tomorrow? With all of this talk about the rapture being May 21st (note BTW: I am a firm believer that no one knows the year, day or hour), I can’t help but have it on the forefront of my mind. What if we could know the rapture is tomorrow?”

And my mind, as finite and limited as it is, imagined myself standing before the Father. Standing before the Most High, Holy God.

And I was overwhelmed, I mean o v e r w h e l m e d, by my sin.

I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah. Psalm 32:5

Confess (yadah): to profess, perhaps properly, to show or point out with the hand extended

It is hard to get really honest with yourself and “properly point out” sin.

Even more difficult? Getting really honest with a perfect and undefiled, Living God.

But we must.

I thought of Jesus’ teaching, “You have heard it said, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgement.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council.” Matthew 5:21-22

I remembered Jesus saying, “You shall not commit adultery. But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman [or man] with lustful intent has already committed adultery in his heart.” Matthew 5:27,28

Jesus goes on to say, “You have heard it said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, ‘Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Matthew 5:43,44

I couldn’t help but think about how greedy I can be, how unthankful I am, how self-centered and worldly-minded I can be.

These scriptures, the Holy standards of God, make me realize how easily I fall into sin. And how little I confess.

I want to be a woman who practices confession before my God.

Unconfessed sin causes a lot of trouble.

Not only in this life, but on judgement day!?…oh, woe is me.

I want to hear clearly from my Lord. To stand right before Him. I need His forgiveness. And He will always forgive me.

But I must first confess.

Head on my pillow, I confessed, out loud, everything He brought to my attention. Some things were difficult to say out loud, but I did it. “Lord, forgive me for….”

If he did arrive today at 6pm, SCORE.

Finally, we meet.

But if not, I am so thankful for the heightened awareness that the day will come. I will, undeniably stand before my King, and be held accountable for my life.

Not my husband’s life, not my children…MINE.

Lord, thank you for grace that abounds, all the more, over my sin. (Romans 5:20).

Thank you that you give forgiveness freely to all who confess. Thank you for the reminder that no one is right before you. Oh how desperately we need the blood of Jesus. No matter how good I am, how many blogs I write, how many mouths I feed, how much money I give, nothing can make me right before you, Lord. I need forgiveness and grace more than I even know. One day we will all stand before you, let us stand before you as confessed people. I am so thankful this morning for our new covenant. Thank you, Jesus, for your death, burial and resurrection.

Thank you for your Blood that covers and atones. Bless your perfect name. Amen.

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2 thoughts on “So What If It Is Today?

  1. I have been there. I was rocking Esther Grace the night that we were supposed to have a lunar eclipse. I started thinking of Revelation's reference to a blood moon and my mind went where He took yours. I was sobbing in that rocker and having such intimate confession with my Lord. It was so sweet. I set my alarm that night to go outside to watch the lunar eclipse…and just in case….(I'm also a firm believer that no one will know the day or hour, but curiousity got the best of me.) When I stepped outside, the Holy Spirit said to me almost immediately, "What are you doing? Go back to bed. We had our time earlier." I took a glance at the moon, grinned, and went right back to bed. 🙂

  2. I am so thankful for His forgiveness & grace! I struggle with forgiving myself sometimes, though ~ if only I could forgive & forget ~ and just receive His grace!

I means so much to hear from you!

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