I’m so glad you are back. So glad. Let’s get to it.
If you are just now tuning in, I encourage you to go back and read “What’s eating your lunch?” from Saturday’s blog. Insecurity. That’s the topic. Bottom line, I’m just sick and tired of watching people, especially Christians, wallow in defeat with the thing. Myself included.
In regards to overcoming insecurity we have three choices:
1. To believe what others say (or don’t say) about us.
2. To believe what our “feelings” say about us.
3. To believe what God says about us.
Today we are going to tackle #1. The choice to believe what others say (or don’t say) about us.
Have you been thinking about where your insecurities fall? Is it…Appearance? Approval? Academics? Parenting? In-laws? Social networking? Spouse? Image? God? Relationships? Your job? All of the above? 🙂
Well whatever they are, I’m going to go so far as to say that, in one way or another, believing what others say about you has shaped your current view. Even more, I bet what others haven’t said about you shape your view, as well. Let me explain.
Example – I am blind as a bat. I am too cheap to buy contacts so I wear my glasses most all of the time, but I don’t like wearing them in public. I’m insecure because I don’t think I look very good in glasses. However, no one has said, “Hey Becky. You look ridiculous in those glasses. You look much better without them. Don’t you have contacts?” Who would say that? But I am insecure in part because of how I feel about myself in glasses and the idea that others think my glasses are unattractive. Silly.
Let’s go deeper.
I wish you could meet my sister-in-law, Erin. Oh my gosh, I think she hung the moon. The wife moon. The mommie moon. The friend moon. Her heart must be made of pure gold. She has a gift of empathy like no one I have ever met. She loves deeply and grieves over other people’s pain. Cries over their struggles. Her heart beats for Jesus. She exudes Him. This woman is an inspiration. She is one of my very best friends and I am honored to call her “family”.
Here’s my problem. I often struggle to celebrate her without involving myself. Instead of just celebrating her strengths and gifts and giving all praise to the Lord for her, I turn the mirror on myself and see all of my imperfections. They seem bigger in light of her. The enemy really gets a foothold here and he slings me around for a while.
…”You are not very empathetic, Becky.” whack
…”You are not patient enough with your kids.” whack
…”You’re relationship with God is so weak, Becky. Look how Erin loves the Lord.” whack
…”Poor Brent. His parents must feel so sorry for him. He really got the short end of the stick.” whack
Satan has his way with me. Chews me up. And spits me out.
Finally, one year at the beach, I broke down and told Erin how I struggled. I told her it was so hard being her sister-in-law because she is so ridiculously awesome. I always felt like I fell short. Let me tell you, this was a very big step for me. Heaven forbid anyone think I wasn’t confident or didn’t have my stuff together. But you know what….
It was such an amazing confession/conversation. Healing came. To us both. After sorting through a lot of emotion and tears, we came to the conclusion that the issue was in part due to the “idea” that our in-laws were sizing us up. Not true. At. All. Our in-laws are the sweetest people on earth. They would never do that. But we were believing what they weren’t even saying. Gracious.
Ultimately, the root of my problem wasn’t with my in-laws or with Erin. My insecurity was rooted in my disbelief that God has sovereignly placed me with Brent. That God has appointed me to raise these three boys. That God has placed me in the Crenshaw family and I am deeply loved and accepted by these people. That God is doing a great work in me. In my marriage. In the lives of my children. Even in spite of me. Oh hallelujah. I realized that it’s not just insecurity I am dealing with — it’s a lack of faith.
So, believing what people say (or don’t say) about us can get us stuck in a web of insecurity.
What if, JUST WHAT IF, we believed the best about people?
What if we stopped assuming people are analyzing us to death?
Honestly, if people are being so critical of you, then what the heck kind of people are you hanging around?
If you are struggling with how you think people think about you (what?) then why don’t you pray about talking to them about it?
What if we just all came clean? How different would we be?
What if we took off all of our masks and let the world see us? What if we swallowed our pride and went to our boss, our husband, our best friend, our co-workers, our family members and said, “Hey this is going to seem out of no where, but I am really struggling with _______. I think you are awesome and I want a deeper relationship with you, but I can’t there because of these thoughts I keep having.”
What if we die to ourselves? Die to our pride. Die to our image. Just get over ourselves?
Maybe a conversation is not the answer. Maybe this is just between you and the Lord. A work he is doing in you that involves no one else. I don’t know. But He does.
Here’s what I do know. I know that you are the apple of His eye. I do know that you are accepted by Him. Chosen by Him. Holy. Beloved. That He has put a heart of compassion in you. Kindness and humility. Gentleness. Patience. (1 Thessaloinians 1:4, Colossians 3:12.)
What if we walked in that?
I have opened up the comment line for all — not just bloggers. I didn’t realize I had my setting as so. I would LOVE to hear feedback and learn what the Lord is showing you –Thoughts. Prayers. Struggles. I’d love to be praying for you.
Be blessed. And come back.